I Must

I stare out of my bedroom window and let the cool evening breeze blow in the wonders of outside. Crisp night air mixes with the stuffy heat trapped inside my room. I can feel it swarming around just as strange emotions constantly stir in my heart and soul.

There is the ever longing for life to just say how it is, and me how I am, but that is at constant battle with my desire to go out and change the world. Then again, maybe it's just my world I need to focus on. But what I am certain of, is my desire to write. There is a strong desire to get into a habit of consistent writing and sharing of ideas along with disciplined reading of the Bible, novels, and non-fiction works to further my education. Writing is something I need to do, something I must do, just as I must breath in air. Words are my oxygen. Yet not just any words, words with meaning. I live for meaning--to dig up the deeper meaning, share it, and taste from the findings of others as well.

We were not made for just the day-to-day life. We were created for something deeper--something bigger. And we were each created with unique gifts in order to pursue and fulfill this greater purpose. We must use these gifts and seek out what we were designed for! I must live deeper, think deeper, love deeper. I must.

I must write.

Or as surely as the flowers of this earth, I will wither away.

The Year of the Flames

Fires everywhere, smoke rising, land burning; this seems to be the year of the flame. Our country is an oven. Where there are not fires, the heat is almost just as intense. Our lungs are an ashtray; the smoke from all across our beautiful land finds its resting place in our body.

Smoke stings my eyes, but it does much more. The flames rage on; burning homes and scorching hearts.  Only tears can cleanse my smoke filled eyes; only sweet drops of rain sent by God can heal our land.

It seems to be happening so fast, even though I’m sure it’s been gradually building up. Now the reality is starting to sink in: America’s burning, hay is scarce, and the prayers for rain are turning into desperate wails of hopelessness. Of course, it could be much worse, but the flames are staring to scare me. Questions eat away at my mind: what if this is the start of another growling drought? When will we get a good rain again? What if there is no more hay? What if, what if...?

Fires literally surround me. They are to the west, east, south, and we know the north is next. Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah are in a blaze. When I see a flame, it makes me want to cry. Not so much for me, but for my family and friends who I know it is going to effect.

I can’t help but wonder if this need for rain is symbolizing America’s greater need for living water. Our hearts are just about as dry as the land, and covered in hazy sin. This is a battle not just against the flame, but against the darkness that holds America captive. As Ted Dekker says in his book Red, “Crisis was a strange beast. At times it united. At times it divided.” When we think back on this time, will our thoughts be of this as the turning point to reconciliation of our nation, or will it be known as the down spiral? “United we stand, divided we fall.” Let’s unite together to defeat the flame.